After long counts and verification of the records, Argan finally understood why his health had worsened recently: as it turned out, he had taken eight types of drugs this month and made twelve flushing injections, while last month there were as many as twelve types of medicines and twenty enemas. He decided to certainly put this circumstance in the face of the doctor who used it. So after all, and not die for long.
Argan’s family had a different attitude to his obsession with his own health: his second wife, Belina, indulged the doctors in everything in the belief that their drugs would sooner bring any husband to the grave; her daughter, Angelica, perhaps did not approve of her father's mania, but, as her daughter's duty and respect for her parent prescribed, she modestly kept silent; on the other hand, the maid of Tuaneta completely unbelted - vilified doctors and impudently refused to study the contents of the master's night pot for bile that had left under the action of drugs.
The same Tuaneta was the only one to whom Angelica revealed herself in the feeling that gripped her towards the young Cleant. She saw him only once - in the theater, but even for this short meeting the young man managed to charm the girl. Not only was Cleante very handsome, he also protected Angelica, not being then acquainted with her, from the rudeness of the disrespectful gentleman.
What was the astonishment of Angelica when her father spoke to her about marriage - from his first words, she decided that Cleante had embraced her. But Argan soon disappointed his daughter: he did not mean Kleant, but a much more suitable, from his point of view, groom - the nephew of Dr. Purgon and his brother-in-law's son, Dr. Diafuurus, Tom Diafuarus, who himself was a doctor without five minutes. In Diafuurus Jr., as a brother-in-law, he saw a bunch of advantages: firstly, the family will have its own doctor, which will save on the cost of doctors; secondly, Tom is the only heir to both his father and Uncle Purgon.
Angelica, although she was terrified, did not utter a word out of modesty, but Argan listened to everything that follows from Tuaneta. But the maidservant only shook the air in vain - Argan stood his ground firmly.
Belina’s marriage was also objectionable, but Belina had her own reasons: she didn’t want to share Argan’s inheritance with her stepdaughter, and therefore did her best to send her to the monastery. So Angelica fully entrusted her fate to Tuaneta, who readily agreed to help the girl. First of all, she was to inform Cleant that Angelica was being married for another. She chose a messenger for a long time and hopelessly in love with her old loan shark Polisinel.
The march of drunken love openly along the street, which led to a funny incident with the police, was the content of the first sideshow with songs and dances.
Kleant did not keep himself waiting and soon appeared in Argan's house, but not as a young man in love, who wanted to ask for Angelica’s hands, but as a temporary teacher of singing, he was a real teacher of Angelica, a friend of Kleant, as if he had to urgently leave for the village. Argan agreed to a replacement, but insisted that classes take place only in his presence.
However, before the lesson began, as Argan was informed about the arrival of Diaphuarus the father and Diaphuarus the son, the Future son-in-law made a great impression on the landlord with a learned speech. Then, however, he mistook Angelica for the wife of Argan and spoke to her as a future mother-in-law, but when the misunderstanding cleared up, Tom Diafuarus proposed to her in expressions that delighted the grateful listeners - there was a statue of Memnon with her harmonious sounds, and heliotrope, and an altar of charms ... As a gift to Tom’s bride, he presented his treatise against the followers of the harmful theory of blood circulation, and as the first joint entertainment he invited Angelica to visit the autopsy of a female corpse the other day.
Quite satisfied with the merits of the groom, Argan wished that his daughter showed herself. The presence of a singing teacher was very helpful here, and his father told Angelica to sing something for the entertainment of society. Kleant handed her notes and said that he just has a sketch of a new opera - so, a trifle improvisation. Turning, as it were, to everyone, but in fact only to his beloved, he in a bucolic manner - replacing himself with a shepherd and her shepherd and placing both in the appropriate surroundings - told a brief story of them with Angelica's love, supposedly serving as the plot of the composition. This story ended with the appearance of a shepherd in the shepherd’s house, where he forced an unworthy rival whom her father favored; now or never, despite the presence of his father, lovers had to explain. Kleant and Angelica sang and in touching, impromptu couplets, they confessed love to each other and swore allegiance to the grave.
The lovers sang a duet until Argan sensed that something indecent was happening, although he did not understand what exactly. Having ordered them to stop, he immediately got down to business - he suggested that Angelica give her hand to Tom Diafuaru and call him his husband, but Angelica, who had not dared to contradict her father, refused to flatly. The venerable Diafuurus withdrew with nothing, trying to maintain a good professional mine even with a bad game.
Argan was already beside himself, and then Belina found Angelica Kleant in the room, who took to flight when she saw her. So when his brother Berald came to him and started a conversation about the fact that he had a good groom for his daughter in mind, Argan did not want to hear about anything like that. But Berald had a cure for excessive gloom for his brother - a performance of a gypsy troupe that was supposed to work no worse than the Purgon cleansers.
The gypsy dances and their songs about love, youth, spring and the joys of life were the second sideshow that entertained the audience in between activities.
In a conversation with Argan, Berald tried to appeal to his brother’s mind, but to no avail: he was firm in the belief that only a doctor should become his son-in-law, and no one but whom he wants to marry Angelica is the tenth thing. But is it really, Berald wondered, Argan, with his iron health, is going to mess with doctors and pharmacists all his life? According to Berald, there could be no doubt in the excellent fortress of Argan's health, if only because the whole sea of drugs he had taken has not yet killed him.
The conversation gradually turned to the topic of medicine, as such, and its very right to exist. Berald asserted that all doctors - although for the most part they are well-educated in the field of the humanities, speak Latin and Greek - are charlatans, cleverly devastating the wallets of unsuspecting patients, or artisans who naively believe in charlatan spells, but also benefit from it. The structure of the human body is so subtle, complex and full of secrets, sacredly protected by nature, that it is impossible to penetrate it. Only nature itself can defeat the disease, provided, of course, that the doctor does not interfere with it.
No matter how Berald fought, his brother stood his ground to his death. The last means known to Berald to overcome blind faith in doctors was somehow to reduce Argan to one of Moliere's comedies, in which representatives of medical pseudoscience get so cool. But Argan did not want to hear about Moliere and predicted a terrible death, abandoned by the doctors to the mercy of fate.
This highly scientific polemic was interrupted by the appearance of pharmacist Fleran with a cleanser, personally prepared and lovingly prepared by Dr. Purgon according to all the rules of science. Despite Argan's protests, the pharmacist was banished by Berald. leaving, he promised to complain to Purgon himself and kept his promise - a little time after his departure, Dr. Purgon, insulted to the core, burst into Argan. He had seen a lot in this life, but to have the clystier so cynically rejected him ... Purgon announced that he no longer wanted to have any business with Argan, who, without his care, would undoubtedly come to a state of complete incurability in a few days, and in a few more - will give ends from bradypepsia, apepsy, dyspepsia, lienteria, etc.
However, it was worth one doctor to say goodbye to Argan forever, as another appeared on his doorstep, though suspiciously similar to the maid Tuanet. He instantly recommended himself as an unsurpassed wandering doctor, who is not at all interested in trivial cases - give him a good creeper, a pleurisy with pneumonia, at worst the plague. Such a famous patient as Argan simply could not help but attract his attention. The new doctor instantly recognized Purgon as a charlatan, made directly opposite instructions to Purgon and withdrew.
On this, the medical theme was exhausted, and the conversation between the brothers about the marriage of Angelica resumed. For a doctor or a monastery - there is no third way, Argan insisted. The thought of identifying her daughter in a monastery, obviously with unkind intent, imposed on her husband Belin, but Argan refused to believe that she, the person closest to him, might have some kind of bad intent. Then Tuaneta offered to arrange a small rally, which was to reveal the true face of Belina. Argan agreed and pretended to be dead.
Belina indecently rejoiced at the death of her husband - now finally she could manage all his money! But Angelica, and after her Cleant, when they saw Argan dead, were genuinely killed and even wanted to abandon the idea of getting married. Having resurrected - to the horror of Belina and the joy of Angelica with Kleant - Argan agreed to the marriage of his daughter ... but on the condition that Kleant be trained as a doctor.
Berald, however, expressed a more robust idea: why not learn Argan himself as a doctor. And as for the fact that at his age, knowledge is unlikely to get into his head - it's nothing, no knowledge is required. It is worth putting on a doctor’s robe and a hat, as you can easily start talking about diseases, and moreover, in Latin.
By a lucky coincidence, the actors familiar to Berald were nearby, who performed the last sideshow - clownish, spiced up with dances and music, the initiation ceremony for the doctor.
